"La tristesse durera toujours.
(The sadness will last forever.)"
— Suicide note of Vincent van Gogh (1853-1890)
the authenticity you are promoting is contrived, being solely based on the image you wish to project, without personal comment or reason.
I saw something that provoked the above thought and it has been lying in my drafts for months.
I have not been active on this blog for some time, and this is owing to several reasons that I may or may not give in this post. That I am posting at all today is not meant as a return; rather, I mean to “wrap up” this blog properly, and the time seems fitting to do so, especially as I am just about to graduate from university - and I believe I started this blog in my first year, so it comes full circle.
I considered deleting my blog but it is a diary of sorts, of how I’ve been over the past few years and I do not wish to erase that. If there was a function to make main blogs private though, I would use it for this. At the start of the year I was not so much merely browsing tumblr as reacting to it, and negatively so. I am interested in how social media evolves, and indeed how people conduct themselves on it; I tend to notice these things even when I have not been actively searching for them, so perhaps I have trained myself to spot the development of trends, which has often left me feeling rather isolated as I miss out on substance from focusing on structure.
It just seems to be that I become very disillusioned with something I’d initially felt relatively safe and pleased with, but I believe this is an effect of having felt utterly bewildered by my generation for as long as I’ve been attempting to participate in it. Over the years my confusion at my peers has always kept me thinking, but of recent months I’m either angry or deeply upset that I’m embroiled in this kind of time at all.
God, all of this has become immensely difficult to disentangle, but one of my main fears for the time I’m living in is the apparent trend of those who think they are thinking, when it seems to me they are regurgitating what they have either been forced or conditioned to think. It’s like illusory consciousness, and it detaches a person from the thing that makes them a self, and partly results in what seems to be rampant narcissism. And I am tired of the way it seeps into everything; even those groups where one perceives reasons to potentially belong, one usually finds that the “outsiders” are just like insiders, only with different skins. By stating all of this, I do not intend to paint myself as a unique specimen; I say it as a reason of sorts, of why I am repelled from such sites as these.
I am tired of the nonsensical quips that gather thousands of notes, I am tired of internet humour, I am tired of pseudo-intellectualism, I am tired of faux feminism, I am tired of the porn-sickness splayed all over this site, I am tired of over-excited fandoms, I am tired of the irrational dependency on social media, I am tired of internet jargon, I am tired of people glorifying celebrities, I am tired of people laughing along with excessively materialistic and noxious personalities (especially when they are celebrities), I am tired of people constantly photographing themselves, I am tired of “edgy” visual art, I am tired of tumblr “erotic” poetry, I am tired of gif sets that crash my netbook, I am tired of the unstated requirement on this site that unless you are good looking no-one will acknowledge your existence no matter the nature and quality of your blog, I am tired of petty arguments especially when they involve politics and tired cliches, I am tired of tokenism, I am tired of excessive reblogging, I am tired of the lack of the original content.
And I am tired of being avoidant. These things had to be said, even if they were not stated very eloquently. A few more posts, and I will be properly done.
There has been a rapid expansion of the strip club industry in the western world in the last decade, particularly in the form of lap dancing clubs. The industry is estimated to be worth US$75 billion worldwide (D. Montgomery, 2005). Some writers in the field of gender studies have defended the practice of stripping.
They have argued that stripping should be understood as socially transgressive, an exercise of women’s agency or a form of empowerment for women (Hanna, 1998; Schweitzer, 1999; Liepe-Levinson, 2002). These arguments exemplify the decontextualized individualism which is common to many defences of the sex industry.
However, the tradition of women dancing to sexually excite men (usually followed by commercial sexual use of the women) is a historical practice of many cultures, as in the case of the auletrides of classical Greece, who were slaves (Murray and Wilson, 2004), and the dancing girls of Lahore, who are prostituted within their families from adolescence (Saeed, 2001). It does not signify women’s equality. Rather, the tradition of stripping signifies sexual inequality and it is most prevalent, historically, in societies in which women were very much second class citizens."
Jeffreys, Sheila. The Industrial Vagina: The Political Economy of the Global Sex Trade. (p. 86)
"If you’ve been up all night and cried till you have no more tears left in you - you will know that there comes in the end a sort of quietness. You feel as if nothing was ever going to happen again."
— C.S. Lewis (via lovelyydarkanddeep)
"I say this is a wild dream— but it is this dream I want to realize. Life and literature combined, love the dynamo, you with your chameleon’s soul giving me a thousand loves, being anchored always in no matter what storm, home wherever we are. In the morning continuing where we left off; resurrection after resurrection. You asserting yourself, getting the rich, varied life you desire; and the more you assert yourself the more you want me, need me. Your voice getting hoarser, deeper, your eyes blacker, your blood thicker, your body fuller. A voluptuous servility and a tyrannical necessity. More cruel now than before— consciously, willfully cruel. The insatiable delight of experience."
— Henry Miller, in a letter to Anaïs Nin dated August 14, 1932 (via earlyfrost)
"I am over the passivity of good men. Where the hell are you? You live with us, make love with us, father us, befriend us, brother us, get nurtured and mothered and eternally supported by us, so why aren’t you standing with us? Why aren’t you driven to the point of madness by the rape and humiliation of us?"